Just keep swimming!

As my husband drives us to the fertility clinic, I can't quite describe my feelings and mood.

I have been physically preparing for the embryo transfer for several months, with exercising more, eating better, and of course those lovely hormones, but mentally I have been ready for this for much longer. I had my moment of freak out yesterday, but today I am calm and ready. We won't find out anything for a couple days, but today is about a new beginning and creating something beautiful. I am going to take it all in, and stay positive throughout.

I am grateful for the long drive though. It gives me time with Eric, time to reflect, and time to really appreciate all of the support we have gotten so far. I don't think I could have started this without my support system.

I am no stranger to hearing someone say "I don't know how you can do that" or "I don't think I could do that." Both of these are honest reactions people have had when I've told them I'm going to be a surrogate, and honestly I laugh when I hear them. It does take a truly special person to be a surrogate, and I definitely think not everyone can do it. I've explained before why I am doing this and with all of the emotions and feelings leading this decision, I could not do it without my friends, coworkers, and family behind me.

Thank you to everyone single one of you that has sent me a text, an email, called, a Facebook message, a hug, and said good luck! You guys are amazing, and I truly appreciate knowing you're there.

Progress update

The excitement is still very much buzzing now that we are 2 weeks into hormones, but they are definitely calming me down as well. Which is probably a good thing for the people around me! I just wanted to give a little update for everyone...

Like I said we are 2 weeks in now and I am definitely feeling the side effects from the estrogen. I have been getting daily headaches, but they are not severe so I am grateful for that. I started with a small dose and have had to increase a couple times so I am aware of different side effects now. Besides the headaches I have been feeling like I do when I have low blood sugar, but this happens after I eat so I know it's the estrogen. It usually doesn't last long, so yet again I am grateful for that. The biggest thing is the calmness. It's hard to describe but I am just all around calmer. Not a bad thing, but very different than what I am use to.

Overall things are going really well and my ultrasounds are showing the estrogen is doing its job so we have the go ahead to continue with the progesterone.

We are coming up on our transfer day VERY quickly now and I ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is something that will forever be a part of our lives, and the kids, Eric, and I are so excited for it!

Stay tuned for the post that will forever change me...

Things are about to get CRAZY!

This week has been a blur for me. It started off like any other week, but as the days went on it got better and better! Anxiously waiting to hear from the fertility nurse this week, I thought the days would drag.

Monday I had a tooth pulled, which threw off my week from the start because I'm not use to not working all day on Mondays. All day Tuesday I thought it was Monday, oops! Then Wednesday came, and I knew it was going to be a great day because this was when I could finally connect with the nurse! I didn't know what to expect but I was ready for anything!

The conversation was short and sweet, which I'm kind of glad because I don't think I heard much after her telling me as soon as my next cycle starts...time to start hormones. WHAT?! Just that simple! She gave me a few other things to remember and then the line went dead.

It was impossible for me not to be excited about this. I told myself that I was going to take this on calmly and not get too overly excited, but who was I kidding?! There have been several moments throughout this journey that I got my hopes up only for there to be a bump waiting for me. Thankfully they have been minor bumps! Nevertheless, I am not letting them dampen my excitement.

Friday morning started like every other Friday. Wake up, get the kids up, eat breakfast, go to work...well it didn't stay that normal for long! I found out that I got to start hormones NOW! Pretty sure I did a happy dance at that moment, and a smile came on so quick that I haven't been able to wipe it off yet. My only wish was that I could see the faces of my IP's the moment their dreams started to become a reality. I was happy with an email though. :)

So here is what is actually happening...I do not have to use the menopause hormones (yay!) So now I am taking an estrogen hormone for a couple weeks. This is helping my body get prepare for the transfer and baby. I have a couple of ultrasounds schedule to make sure the hormones are working, and then I will add another hormone. Then at the end of this month will be our transfer!!!

I am taking all the precautions I can to make sure everything goes smoothly, and the main one is to take one step at a time. I am focusing on the positive in all aspects of my life, and trusting God with everything.

This has been a long time coming, and I thank all of my family and friends for their continued support and prayers! Keep it coming because it's getting good now!

Step 1, actually it's step 9 but who's counting?

Great news! I spoke with the nurse at the fertility clinic today. After weeks of waiting...we are starting hormone therapy next week!! I will have a couple ultrasounds in the next couple of weeks but we are hoping for a late August/early September transfer.

The next couple of weeks are going to be crazy, literally since I will be on hormones, but I am so excited and cannot wait to get started!

Stay tuned for more updates!!

Medical clearance complete

Hi everyone! Sorry it has been so long!

We have been not so patiently waiting for my medical clearance from the fertility clinic. I would be flat out lying to say I wasn't really frustrated through this process. There were lots of things that didn't go smoothly, but thankfully plenty that did. It is just that though, part of the process, so I am glad it is done with and we are moving forward. But here is the skinny on what has happened since my last post.

So after I met with the fertility specialist in May, I had my ultrasound in Madison. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but still a little uncomfortable. I will spare you the details on that one! Nevertheless, everything looked good with it and I just had some blood work and a simple office visit with my PCP (primary care physician) to go for my clearance. That is where the waiting got to me, but like I said, all part of the process! So after about 5 weeks I think, I received the best news...I am cleared!!! Talk about a weight lifted off my shoulders! I wasn't worried that I wouldn't be, it was just taking FOREVER.

I could not wait to tell my IM and IF! It was a great day. So now that we finally got through that step, we are working on the parenting agreement. We have already discussed what is in it so nothing was a surprise. Once everyone has signed off on that we get ready for hormone therapy. I am very happy that I do NOT have to do daily injections!

I have had many conversations with my IM and the Surrogacy Center so far through this, and I am so grateful I not only have my husband and family as support, but my IP's and the Surrogacy Center as well. They have been reassuring, patient, and understanding through everything so far, and I get a little more excited as we closer and closer to transfer day!

That's all I have for now! Thanks for reading! It should be getting more exciting through each post now!

Fertility 101

**Caution** This post is going to have medical terms and details that may be graphic for some readers, okay just the males...

May 16th has come and gone now, but man it was a good day! Eric and I drove to Milwaukee with excitement running through our veins and eagerness to have more information. Okay so that was probably more me than Eric, but I think he was still excited. I didn't know what to expect when we pulled up to the facility, but it had beautiful curb appeal. We headed up to the second floor, and I found myself kind of nervous, it was a different kind of nervous though. Trying to find the right words to describe my nerves is not easy, but I always come back to my IP's. I know their story, I've seen the love they have for each other, the excitement in their eyes with the thought of a new baby in their arms, and my heart melts a little. My nerves start to take over because it's no longer just Eric and I. When I started to consider this journey it was something we were doing together, 100% together, and now that we have our IP's it is no longer the two of us. The four of us are a team, and so what I go through they do and vise verse. So walking into the doctors office I felt nervous for the four us. This is a big step, but I know I have the support system of my family and friends, and the support of my IP's.  

Okay so here's how the appointment went:
I got blood work done to check for an array of things including thyroid, OB panel, STD's, and vaccinations...10 VIALS later...I was light-headed but doing well. Thank goodness I don't have issues with needles or bad veins! Then we met with one of the nurses that works with the doctor and "third party reproduction" to go through some of the process while we waited for the doc. She went through her experiences and background, and what the next couple of months are going to look like. Then she gave me the best news yet! I won't have to do daily injections for the hormone therapy for several weeks!! Talk about relief!! Like I said before, needles do not bother me, but the thought of having an injection done daily in the same spot for several weeks on my hip area makes me cringe. I could practically see and feel the bruise and knot that was going to take over my hip area! I was prepared to do it, even had informed some co-workers that I might have them "stick me" for a few weeks, but I am thankful it's not going to be the case. 

So the doc comes in and I wasn't sure what to expect. What are fertility specialists like? Was he going to be all business, no personality? Is he easy to talk to and understand? I have questions about EVERYTHING but no idea how to form them into a question, oh boy was I on overload the moment I sat in that chair! I hate feeling like I don't know anything or not knowing what is going to happen. (Can you tell I don't like surprises?) He sits down at his desk and says..."So what do you know about this process?" Was he reading my mind?! I said, well I've tried to do some research and know a little bit about the hormone therapy and what it can entail, but I know that each doctor does things different so I've tried not to set my mind on one thing. Luckily he understood my need for information because I left there with 2 pamphlets about the hormone medications and how the transfer will work. I was a happy girl. 

Anyways, here is what we discussed and where we are at now (guys you might not want to read this because I know the reaction my brother had when I said the word uterus in front of him and it's going to be more detailed than that...) First we talked about the ultrasound I have to get done, I was wrong before it's a hysterosonogram. This is an ultrasound of my uteran cavity to check for polyps, fibroids, unknown deformities, and anything else that might be in there. I have no reason to believe anything is wrong, but we have to know for sure. The tricky part with this is that is has to be done on a certain day of my cycle, day 7-12 to be exact. So the plan is to have that done in Madison, just a little closer for me. After the results come back from all my blood work and the ultrasound, we will sign the parenting agreement, more on that at another time, and then we start the fun stuff. Once everything is signed and set I will start hormone therapy. Step number one is to "trick" my body into thinking it's going through menopause...watch out hubby! I will have to do daily injections into my stomach with Lupron for a couple of weeks. (Totally cool with that) The reason we have to do this is to "quiet" my ovaries and thin out the lining of my uterus. Once I have been on that for a couple weeks we will do another ultrasound to make sure it's working. If everything looks good, then I start Estrogen on day 1 of my cycle. This is going to "fluff" my lining so it is ready to accept the embryo. After a few days of that I have another ultrasound to make sure the Estrogen is working correctly. If everything looks good we are set to continue! And you guessed it, more hormones! Okay so my poor hubby is probably going to be ready to go crazy, but thankfully it will be nice out he can go fishing, play softball, or something and steer clear of the mood swings I am going to have. Anyways, I will then start progesterone. This is the hormone that will help my body think it's pregnant and support the embryo once it's transferred. 

I know that was A LOT information but the exciting part is that, even though we don't have a set date for a transfer right now, we have a timeline to go off of! Once my next cycle starts I have an ultrasound, then once the second cycle comes I start Lupron, then comes the Estrogen  and progesterone on cycle number 3 AND on day 22 of the 3rd cycle we are looking at TRANSFER DAY! Wow, that whole previous paragraph in one sentence. Just in a very small nutshell ;) Sorry I have a thing for detail when I write.

The doctor was so nice, easy going, and very informative. No wonder my IP's spoke so highly of him. I left my appointment feeling informed and maybe a little light-headed still. The nerves had long since fallen away, and for once in my life I am eagerly awaiting my next cycle, or as we call it in my house "shark week" ;)

Until next time...

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and moms-to-be out there! I hope you all have a day of lots of love, appreciation, and of course pampering! I am a fan of Mother's Day, but I also feel like it has become a hallmark holiday like Valentine's Day... I don't think we should thank our moms just one day, just like I don't think we should say I love you and do something special on just Valentine's Day. Moms are one of the hardest working people on the planet, the other hardest working people would be dads, and they deserve to be loved, thanked, hugged, given the priceless gifts (I'm talking about those hand print pictures or homemade cards) all the time! 

My hope is that by this time next year I will be sending a beautiful Mother's Day card to my IM for her first day with their little baby! Sending them lots of hugs and warm wishes. It's crazy to think that is actually a possibility at this point, and my goosebumps have goosebumps just thinking about it! We have a long way to go right now, but we are taking it one step at a time.

My last post I expressed my frustration, and thankfully my frustration is at a minimum right now. I talked with the Surrogacy Center about everything that has been happening, and they were so reassuring and helpful. The misunderstanding has been resolved, and I had a most informative email from my IM, since she knows quite a bit about the fertility part of this. I had to laugh when I read her email, because it was sent hours before I posted last but I hadn't read it until the next day and it was exactly what I needed to read at that moment. In my heart I know this match was meant to be!

Friday is the first of many big days to come, and I cannot wait to learn more! Everyday that passes is one day closer to a miracle baby, and that makes my heart smile...

So Happy Mother's Day everyone, and a VERY special Mother-to-be Day to my IM!!!